She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
