But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
