you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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