Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
