he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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