I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
