dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
