Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
