is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
