need another drink. this is the easiest way
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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