he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
