i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
