Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
