I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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