Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
this boner is exhausting
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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