Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize