have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
