i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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