Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
