i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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