this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
