Sponge bath it is.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
