you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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