there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
