I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
