At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
