i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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