You can't motorboat a personality
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
