best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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