just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
