i just had sex bonerless
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
