I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
