So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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