Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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