Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
