Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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