I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
