Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
