You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
