just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
