remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I met the friendliest cop last night
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
