GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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