Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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