Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
