I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
