Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
