Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There r osticjed everywhere
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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