fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
