She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
