I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
