i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
