Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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